The Vegetarian Superbowl

Tonight is the Superbowl, and Chris and I are having some friends over to watch the game. This morning I searched online for "Superbowl party food" recipes for 45 minutes before I found a few dishes that would work. At the supermarket I bought the following for our little party: two cans of beans, a can of low-salt corn, shredded cheddar cheese, hummus dip, pita chips, organic tortilla chips, salsa, pasta, fresh basil, and sun-dried tomatoes. Looking at my grocery bag, I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. None of it looked like "Superbowl food" - the kind that you normally associate with football - no chicken wings or hot dogs. No turkey chili or hamburgers. Though we've been having Superbowl parties for the past few years now, the excitement is mixed with a bit of longing and nostalgia for the foods I no longer eat.

So let me just come out with it: I am a vegetarian who loves meat. I miss it, especially the unhealthiest forms of meat (i.e. bacon, hot dogs, sausages, etc.). Unlike some vegetarians, like my mother, who has never touched meat in her life, I do not hold my nose when I walk by a hot dog cart or smell a BLT at the bodega. Instead, I have to remind myself of the terrible stomach ache that hot dogs (and bacon and sausages) used to give me, which is difficult since human beings seem better programmed to remember taste than to recall pain.

When I tell meat-eaters I'm vegetarian, usually because we're ordering dinner somewhere and I can't share the fried calamari, the most common response is "Oh, I wish I could do that" or "That's great" or "Will the smell bother you?" Most assume that I chose to become a vegetarian because of my love of animals or my desire to save the planet or simply because I wanted to do the right thing. When I reveal the real reason, that my health requires me to be vegetarian, I always feel a touch of guilt, like my vegetarianism is somehow tainted by this less noble motivation. Don't get me wrong, I do love animals and care about the environment and try to do good deeds. However, I also love the taste of meat, and if my stomach could do a better job of digesting it, I would probably not be a vegetarian at all.

My mom says that my craving for meat will disappear as the taste fades from my memory. I hope so. Until then, I'll have to watch the Superbowl (not to mention all the Superbowl junk food commercials) eating my vegetarian nachos and pesto pasta dreaming of barbecue ribs.